First Online Shoot via Facetime

Last weekend I did my first online shoot with the inspiring yogini Lena. And we went like that from Birmingham to Barcelona in no time!

Lena is a passionate yoga teacher based in Barcelona. Her classes are very gentle and easy flowing. Even though she teaches mainly in Spanish, I love joining them online. The calmness of her voice is very relaxing to listen to when practicing yoga. The environment every teacher creates by the way they teach and interact, even being online, matters most to the person experiencing it. You can find Lena on Instagram as @yoganidrasana and even join a live practice.

Our initial photo plans were canceled due to the Coronavirus situation. Lena and I had already scheduled a shoot in Barcelona for the end of April, so despite the whole madness the power of the internet actually made it happen, but just in a slightly different format. Furthermore, creativity on its own is a savior, despite stressful situations and limited resources. It has helped me many times before. I have days when I just want to throw my camera away and move to my village house, but I find a way and go back to creativity, sometimes defeated, miserable, and needy. But the creative force gives me back something every time. It’s like the relief when you slide down into the hot bubble bath and feel hugged by the warm water.

This online shoot was done via Facetime, with no camera tethering. I saw a few online shoots done around social media, but I wasn’t sure if it’s for me. However, we have some time so why not give it a try.

I’ve had a great session with Lena. Seeing how the sunlight interrupts our conversation with its mighty beauty, I truly felt Barcelona <3

The quality of the images does remind in a way of a film negative. I guess it has been long enough now that we‘ve developed a nostalgia for low-resolution webcam photographs. And let’s not forget the emotion. That those aren’t just someone’s low res photos randomly taken but are captured moments of a time when you arranged, prepared, and did something that looks like this. Yes, you can take images all by yourself, but the feeling won’t be the same. There is a special moment when you’re being photographed - you’ve been seen, you’ve been acknowledged, you’ve been recorded.

I’m still not sure if this is something I like doing more of, simply because I don’t feel helpful enough. I don’t like the fact that the model is responsible for most on the things “on set”. I believe they need to be most relaxed actually so they can have a great experience. On the other side, it is a challenge when you’re not aware of the actual space around the subject. I’m a touch person - I like the physical side of things. I prefer to go to the place and see it with my eyes so that I know how to position the model in the space.

As a whole, I’m happy I tried this lockdown type of photoshoot. Even though I’m still not sure it’s for me, I’m keen to try some more times while the quarantine lasts. Sometimes I need a second or third try of things to make my decision.

I hope you’re safe and sane!

Self Portraiture as Self Discovery

Like many artists, I started my photography journey drawn to fire art photography. I remember the time when I was looking for an image on Google that can represent my emotions and moods on a Skype profile image. Something that can fit in square and tel others with no words what’s on my mind. I know it sounds a bit odd, maybe more than a bit, but this is actually how it all started. That was when I made the decision to pursue photography, a visual representation of my emotions. Women and nudes were my favorite subject from day one.

I began with self-portraiture as I couldn’t explain to anyone else how to feel my emotions, and mainly because those images were created in the privacy of my own. Also I wanted to be the sujbect on in the frame, but felt too shy and unworthy to ask somebody to photograph me. I discovered, working by yourself with yourself is a very intimate act of creation and benefitial in many ways. Even one extra person in the room will make it a shared experience instaed. Even though sometimes I wish I had an extra arm or a pair of eyes to make the process a bit easier, that gives me an opportunity to expand my capabilities and creativity further. I shot when I needed, always honest and somehow dark.

Self Portrait, 2010

In the beginning, I didn’t know where this is going, I was just playing. Now, 12 years later I can say that self-portraiture has become my rehabilitation center, my therapy, and way of going through life. It is my save boat and best friend. I have documented my rawest experiences and emotions.

It is an amazing act of self-focus. Self-discovery and self-realization. I can’t imagine to ever stop or deprive myself of such a gift. And if you haven’t tried yet - go and make some, see how you feel after. I’m curious and I’d love to know how you get on.

Hourglass. Self Portrait 2020

Why Nudes?

if you know me or my work for some time or if you just landed on my blog/website, after having a quick look it will be impossible to hide from you that I’m very much obsessed (in the best way possible) of the nude body.

This came more clearly to me when challenged to complete my first ever photography assignment that I was given, I chose exactly the forms of a nude body. It was a sequence of close-ups, shot in daylight in my small student bedroom, the first place I accommodated when I arrived in England. Completing the project was weird in a way, as untill then I had never done such sitting, and somehow very fulfilling with a sense of “this feels right to me”.

Here is a test sheet of my first assignment.

Looking in retrospection now, it’s funny how this genre has always been inside me. The drive is too strong - it pulls me and I can’t ignore it. So, the only way to move forward is to execute the calling or live with regret. (The second one can be really hurtful.) I think this comes from two things. Firstly, my upbringing - my parents were very open and ok with nudity. In fact, my crafty dad made this collage wall, where he mixed a picture wallpaper of a palm beach with a sexy lady with an erotic bodysuit and installed it in our living room (this was way before the Internet or Photoshop). I understand this must of shocked you just now and you might question the parenting I was given but TRUST me, my parents gave me and my brother everything we needed, our childhood was good and the house was full of laughter. Secondly, the fact that I’m from the seaside. When you live in a country with hot summers and access to a sea/ocean/river, undressing and enjoying the sun gently kissing your skin is a normal ritual during those hot days. No, it is not like on a holiday. Being barely clothed for over half of the year every year is not like a 10-day trip.

So, back to the question, Why photographing the Nude?

Prey. Lover’s Diary, 2020

Like every other creature on this planet, we are born in a certain way. Our bodies are our physical form. We don’t have fur as some other mammals do, instead, we have bare skin with some hairy sections. This is our initial outfit. Covering this body on the other side is part of weather necessities and the fashion evolution throughout history. Somehow, our predecessor men decided women should fit in certain “standards” regarding nudity and body appearance. And here I go nuts on the subject. I’m so, so against the “male” way we’ve been operating for centuries that I can come across a bit violent sometimes. I know, this is what it was at that time, and now it is different, but still, I find it unfair. On the other side, I’m against the pornographic appearance of women, but this is a subject for another post.

The female nude is my favorite object to photograph, because of its unique beauty and strength. I like the male form and the combination between the two, but the femininity of the female humans is way more inspirational to me. The shapes, the forms, and the gentleness are one of a kind. And then that extension of bringing life to Earth and the motherhood that follows just completes the picture. I believe every woman should appreciate her body, as it is one of a kind indeed, and must embrace her beauty daily. There is too much comparison and thrive for perfection, emerged from our ego side and society. There’s no need for that. I know it's not easy to just do it as we’ve been trained to do the opposite for decades, but it is possible and achievable. Maybe even easier than you might think. I have personally struggled with body image and acceptance from an early age throughout my whole life, and in fact, still, catch myself copying the old pattern, but I decided to consciously do my best to live in balance as much as I can. This is also why I like photographing women - to show them that they are incredible the way they actually are here and now, that the magazine covers means nothing if the beauty isn’t felt from the inside, and that it is possible to feel comfortable in their own skin, despite background or painful past.

So, women - embrace your beauty! Men - compliment it daily! Don’t hide behind clothes or torture yourself, instead appreciate the magnificent “machinery'“ your soul is living in! You’re worth it and you deserve being seen!

The woman behind Ro Pro Studio

What is better than a hot location shoot? …by the sea with a beautiful woman? Ah!… Those hot sunrises by the sea will always remain my favourite time of the year.

This time I had the pleasure to work with Ro - the woman behind Ro Pro Studio. Based in Copenhagen, Denmark, she runs her creative studio along with her personal IG blog @fruitynveggiecom, focused on living a more conscious life today. Be aware! - following her may cause an instant desire for living a better, happier, fulfilled life.

We’ve known each other for 10 years now and the creative flow between us is just getting stronger. This is a photoshoot I did for her in our home city Varna (Bulgaria). A magnificent sunrise on the last days of summer. Warm morning, empty beach. The sea still keeping the hot summer between its waves. Calm breeze and a few seagulls. And we flow…

A Festive Self

Some time ago during a Christmas season I’ve started asking myself about the meaning of Family. I re-analyse all the family examples I know and all the information I’ve collected. From past to present, painting out to myself a detailed picture of the best family description I can give. I’m amazed how somewhere along the way family relationships can drift away from love and carrying. And yet how strongly connected to our truth we still remain.

There is a saying in Bulgaria - “The blood doesn’t become water”, which stands for the importance and connection between family members. In spiritual world is known that souls come to Earth in groups, in which their title changes, but the group remains together in every life. Which means our family is our “soul tribe” and we’ll also be together in the next life. So the issues we have with a family member is something that came from the past and if not sorted out, will continue to come back until it’s resolved. Or better - forgiven! A burden let go into the nothingness, causes the weightless feeling of love. What a relieve! And yet, how stubborn we could remain, letting the ego runs the show?

What a game life is!

This Christmas I had more time for myself than usual. Caught in thoughts I created my kind of festive season 2019. Lights down low, favourite tracks on. Let’s go…

I hope you’re having a wonderful time wherever you are this year, hope you’re joyful and merry! I hope you received the presents you most looked forward to and that you gifted yourself something meaningful too. If this wasn’t the best Christmas for you, don’t forget “this will too shall pass”.

Merry Christmas and A Happy New Decade Everyone!

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