The Love you constantly give out is not going to fill you in

How many times have you given all of your love to anyone else but yourself? How often do you fool yourself that if you show how deep and carrying your love is same will come back to you and fill you? Which person you usually put first - your child, your spouse, your family, etc. ?

Don’t get me wrong - giving love is the best you can do. And for sure the love and kindness you give out will come back to you in some way, share or form. But what you’re looking for outside of yourself will never complete you, will never make you feel the way you’re longing so desperately at times to feel.

There are different kinds of love, although the core feeling is the same. What we miss to acknowledge many times in our lives, especially when we’re young or unexperienced, is that the love we want is only possible to be received from someone or something outside of us. The love that we want has never been and will never be anywhere else but inside of our own Self.

The true ability to love and care about others is first reflected on the ability to love yourself. The way you treat yourself is crucial. We tent to give more than we actually have, emptying our own cup completely dry, giving to those we love from desperation and lack rather than abundance and fulfilment. What happens then? - we need up with a burn out, illness, relationship collapse and satisfaction. We say we did everything for them, we did everything they wanted, but what did we do for ourselves, what did you did for you?

How many times you neglected your own needs to please someone else, even if it’s your own child, to then receive unappreciation that made you feel even emptier? It’s hard to say no and ignore the needs of your loved ones, but you cannot give what you don’t have already. If you try to, and we all have done it, you do both party a disservice - you end up lacking value for them and drying out inside. A so called ‘act of love’ turns into a demonstration of toxic trades, patterns and behaviours.

Even on the plane they say “put your own oxygen mask first” - you can’t help outers if you don’t take care of yourself First. This is not a selfish act, but a necessity. It’s not something to be ashamed about, rather the contrary - showing act of self care is the way to teach your children and loved ones the importance and benefits of self-care, value and potential there is in the act.

So next time you feel tired, want to spent time with yourself, have a desire to nurture yourself in any way - do it! Do it for you, for your inner child and that will reflect on your current relationships. Your children will be happier to spent time with self-fulfiller parent, who let them drink from their overflowing cup.

You deserve it by birth right.

Do you allow yourself?

Do you pay attention if you’re allowing yourself? If you do things for you or the way you’ve been told/think it will be accepted? Do you live according to norms set by somebody else?

Childhood patterns and all the experiences we go through put us in situations where we collect certain behaviours, believes, expressions. Often down the line in life, carrying and using them by default, we usually accept them as our nature, the way we are.

This is not entirely true. In fact, many of the believes and behaviours we carry don’t serve us well and we feel it. But trapped in the years of conditioning, forget to look them from aside and make the conscious decision to change them.

Lately I’ve been in a period of seeing, understanding and desiring to change something seemingly simple in my life, but that has been tripping me for years without me even knowing. I replied I don’t allow myself to live the life I actually want. Why? - because of my childhood condition to follow rules and guidance, that long ago now don’t have any value. I proved to myself I can do things I want, things I desire, if I put my mind into it and take the required steps. Now it’s another transition, seeing how much really all those patterns mean nothing to the adult me now. The child inside tho, scared of rejection, still believes them and here is when it’s time to change the pattern.

By taking actions, small different steps that what used to, we’re able to rewrite the script and change the pattern. Yes, it will take time and it won’t be easy, but the fact that is actually possible keeps be believing its also possible for me.

Don’t let voices, expressions trapped in your inner child’s memory from years long ago to affect your adult life. You have the power to change, to better your human experience simply by making the decision to take action in beneficial for you direction.

How to prepare for a Boudoir photo session?

Have you always wanted to experience a boudoir photo session, but maybe felt some insecurity about taking your clothes off in front of a stranger?

Worry no more, I got you, girl! I’m here for you!

My boudoir sessions are tailored for women with or without experience in front of the camera or with minimal clothing. The target is always one - to feel more comfortable in your own skin. I believe boudoir photography can help women feel freer and unapologetically themselves when they appreciate the beauty and intelligence of their own bodies. Bodies that go through so much transformation during their life and fully deserve to be acknowledged for it, appreciated and valued for their magnificence.

That’s why I’m here - to help people enjoy themselves in their own skin. Clothes and accessories are fun, but they also build a barrier, restrictions, putting certain norms and telling a story. But it not our nature, our authentic appearance as species. The clothed body is not what we actually live in and experience life with, but the nude body is.

The boudoir session is not necessarily a nude one, however surely it could transform if you decide so. I understand the sensitivity of the matter, that there could be certain boundaries and fully respect every individual's point of view.

So what do you need to prepare for a boudoir session?

It is actually very easy:
-decide how you’d like to be photographed
-pick up some outfits/looks
-decide how much of makeover suits you best
-and then just bring your gorgeous presence in the studio!

How would you like to be photographed?

We’ll discuss this more in detail in your pre-shoot consultation. Meanwhile, you can see examples in my work that resonate with you most and you would like to have your own photographs in the same style. Or you’re more than welcome to share any ideas that you have and dream about. I’m always open to experiment and create the best visuals of yourself you’ve seen.

What outfits would you like?

Feel free to share with me even before something that you’d like to wear. I would suggest you to get out of the box and norms if you secretly wanted to. This is a safe space for you where we’ll play, laugh and enjoy your beauty and uniqueness. A place where you can experiment and dress up as whoever you want. You can be with lingerie or any intimate wear or much more minimal and bare. The less the fashion, the more it focuses on your and your gorgeous body. But I let you decide.

If you feel like trying more nude look, you don’t necessarily have to be fully nude. For me is health and safety first so you can wear some minimal thongs that I can hide with poising or later on Photoshop if you want to look nude on your photographs.

How much makeover suits you best?

This option I left open for clients as some of them prefer more natural and minimal look. Boudoir sessions don’t have to have the heavy saturated makeover where you can’t recognise yourself. I’m here to capture you the way you want it to be and won’t force on you anything that can make you feel not yourself. I know make-up can sometimes change the look and idea of who we want to appear as. Therefore, the sessions I do include natural makeover, focused on your natural beauty. But if you prefer to go beyond the way you usually present yourself, we’ll help you with that. We can discuss all the small details before the session to make sure everything is the way you want it to be.

And last one is to just bring your awesomeness in the studio!

Again, keep i n mind this is a safe place for you. Somewhere where you can be yourself with no norms or ideals. I’m here to portray your uniqueness and celebrate you, because you deserve it! Feel free to share anything else you have in mind or any concerns that come up.

I listen carefully what clients tell me about their bodies, what they like and dislike about them. So I try to capture all of it, the more and less loved parts of they bodies in a way that they’ll love all of it. Our bodies are beautiful, despite the differences. In fact the differences are those that make them so unique, so let’s celebrate it!

Do you listen to your body?

Do you listen in the silence of your own? Are you ever in enough silence to hear? And if you do hear, do you follow up or ignore?

The body.. One of my main subjects in my work and in my own personal life. All the beauty I see and intent to capture, mixed with all the challenges I’ve faced with and within my own. A diary I will probably write until the end.

Our magnificent, intelligent bodies are guiding us, telling us what we need to know in every moment. Unfortunately, we don’t always listen. Rather the contrary - we try to numb the feelings, so we can escape either responsibility or the acknowledgement that we need to make a change of some sort. Here is one example - the anxiety.

I didn’t know when it appeared in my life, but I do know now I’ve tried many times to numb the fearful feeling through physical or emotional substances. To only end up hurting myself more. Why do I this? - I asked myself so many times. I’m yet not sure, all I know is that photography has helped me many times up to this day.

In creation we loose idea about time, space and fear. Preset moment eliminates anxiety, it focuses your mind, giving you the space and security of the present. We’re often so lost in the past of in the future, that we forget to pay attention to the only moment we actually have - the now. I know you’ve heard this before, but do you practice it?

Here is me now, writing this with an anxious heart. My body is not calm, my mind is afraid. All I know is I’m not alone, maybe you’re accompanying me now or can relate to it. Why don’t we listen more? Why don’t we believe in our own body intelligence and guidance to show us what to do, who to love, what to trust and where to go? We tent to trust in others that have no idea how we feel or what we dream about.

Don’t let the fear stops you, don’t let it freeze you. Listen to your body, it knows you better than you think. Trust it, as it’s the only body that will never betray you, the only one that will be there for you always. The one that holds the guidance and support you need to go through life.

Why Photographing Yourself Is Beneficial For You?

Throughout art history, self portraiture has been a way for the artist to reflect and capture themselves in a unique way. Nowadays, with the phone camera we have a constant access to we also have the ability to capture, portray, and record ourselves. Being an artist or not, photographing yourself can be beneficial for you in a few ways.

• Helps you release emotions

As living life and going through experiences, we’re faced with variety of emotions, that often can be overwhelming. All of us humans have moments where we’re faced with challenging emotions, very often unable to express them due to lack of understanding or deep rooted traumas that might not allow us. Here is why standing in front of the camera (and ideally a mirror) by yourself, honest and with all of those bare emotions, you experience an allowance to realise and share. Movement, facial expressions and gaze are all channels to release what you’ve had trapped inside. Unreleased emotions get stored in the body and convert into diseases at some point. Therefore releasing what is bothering you, what has been hurting you, is healthy for your mind, body and soul.

• Helps you get to know yourself better

Self portraiture is true mirror that you put in front to observe, examine and learn more about your own self. Trapped in the human body, your soul is directly expressed through your eyes. How often do you look in your eyes? How often do you stop and stare, examine your facial and body features, but also pay attention to the energy that your souls is transmitting to you? By portraying yourself you get closer to your own soul by paying attention to what’s inside that wants to get out.

You can also learn to accept your physical form, your body. We’re here for a certain amount of years, occupying a body that we often want to change and modify instead of accepting and loving it so it can serve us longer, which is directly related to our life time. Getting to know yourself and accepting yourself as you are here and now would benefit you enormously - you’ll live a more fulfilled and peaceful life, with less anxiety and worries. Because fighting and denying it will only lead to more suffering.

• Helps you learn more about photography

You have a constant access to yourself and your body. Photographing yourself is the quickest and easiest way to practice posses, to play with light or explore further. By practising it you’ll become more confident in your craft and with your clients/sitters. You’ll see and correct mistakes that you might be making often. You can learn more about how light and position can change the feeling of a final image. Never the less, you will end up with interesting body of work that you’re proud of, can use in other ways for variety of purposes, but it will also give you a memory of the captured moment in time that will never return. Self portraiture can become a present that you leave behind to your family and children, to the future generation to remember you and your special light.

In conclusion, photographing yourself is beneficial for you in the form of therapy, art or memory. It can enhance your professional work, but will also develop stronger connection with your soul. Practiced regularly, self portraiture can give you a personal, mirrored look of yourself and where you stand at this point in life, that you can’t find anywhere else. A unique reality check to learn from in a deeper level. Looking and accepting yourself is powerful practice. Being your own art piece will give you joy that you can tap into anytime you want.

I’d love to know how you get along. Let me know in comments! :)