Do you allow yourself?

Do you pay attention if you’re allowing yourself? If you do things for you or the way you’ve been told/think it will be accepted? Do you live according to norms set by somebody else?

Childhood patterns and all the experiences we go through put us in situations where we collect certain behaviours, believes, expressions. Often down the line in life, carrying and using them by default, we usually accept them as our nature, the way we are.

This is not entirely true. In fact, many of the believes and behaviours we carry don’t serve us well and we feel it. But trapped in the years of conditioning, forget to look them from aside and make the conscious decision to change them.

Lately I’ve been in a period of seeing, understanding and desiring to change something seemingly simple in my life, but that has been tripping me for years without me even knowing. I replied I don’t allow myself to live the life I actually want. Why? - because of my childhood condition to follow rules and guidance, that long ago now don’t have any value. I proved to myself I can do things I want, things I desire, if I put my mind into it and take the required steps. Now it’s another transition, seeing how much really all those patterns mean nothing to the adult me now. The child inside tho, scared of rejection, still believes them and here is when it’s time to change the pattern.

By taking actions, small different steps that what used to, we’re able to rewrite the script and change the pattern. Yes, it will take time and it won’t be easy, but the fact that is actually possible keeps be believing its also possible for me.

Don’t let voices, expressions trapped in your inner child’s memory from years long ago to affect your adult life. You have the power to change, to better your human experience simply by making the decision to take action in beneficial for you direction.

How often do you look at your soul?

The soul, our eternal part that accompanies us in this life, before and after. The soul, those 21 grams that contain the whole Universe. The soul, what streams when looking in somebody’s eyes…

The way we intent to see the soul is when we look deeper in the eyes. When we strip down the physical, temporary outfit and focus on that matters most - our essence.

As we live inside our bodies, we don’t really see our eyes if we’re not looking at a mirror. But how often do we really stop and pay attention to our should when we pass by a mirror? How often we sit and patiently observe, without agenda, without rushing tick the next bod on our to do list? How often we choose to stare in our own eyes, instead of looking for external entertainment?

We look at others much more than we look at ourselves. We drawn into our partner’s eyes when in love, we feel the pure love when looking at our children’s, we even insult and harm others using words told straight in other’s eyes. But we can’t see ourselves from the aside.

Usually we use the mirror for checking if our body is clean, in shape or ready to face the world. Often when in front of the mirror we often look everywhere else but in our eyes. It might be even something we avoid on purpose. We might face the judgment of the ego or the dreams of our inner child that we’ve neglected. Often when we began the practice of looking into our eyes intentionally, we find resistance, emotions start bubbling up, tears are just the beginning.

Mirror work has this powerful effect to connect us more with our mind, body and soul, simply because it’s the only way to bridge the physical with the spiritual part of ourselves. It’s a way to practice self love, beginning with talking lovingly to ourselves when looking in the mirror. Here is where you’ll find a lot of resistance at fist. But once you push throw it, you’ll find the most beautiful feeling there is - loving who you are for what you are.

I began using mirror to learn how to love myself and my body, as all the negative voice was harming me inside and out. I even used mirrors to feel less alone when living by myself, especially during the quarantine. I made sure I have a mirror in every room in the house, during all the activities I do daily, including the most mundane ones like eating, cooking and showering. I would sit and stare, talk to myself, dance and simply observe myself from aside. How do I look from aside, what others see when see me, how do I carry myself in the world.

This personal practice helped me with my professional work, my personal work and see esteem. The more i began to learn about and accept myself, the more liberated I felt. Now I can even make the difference when I’ve been away for too long from looking into my own eyes. That little girl inside, that soul is what nurture me and I better pay my part in the relation.

I dare you to try. You won’t regret it.

Support your friend artist or leave them struggle alone?

I notice some interesting phenomena in area of supporting emerging artists. Something that I’ve been thinking and personally experiencing for a while now. Something that really bothers and makes me wonder why.

I’ve been actively pursuing my artistic side for the past 16 years. Left my homeland 13 years ago, changed 3 countries, learned 2 additional languages to my mother tongue, lived with 21 nationalities in 16 houses, but I never have yet forgotten where I came from. In fact, I still keep in touch with some of my oldest friends. Moreover, I still care what they say and think, even though my life journey changed me so much.

What amazes me most is how people that know you from the start, at some point, for their own reasons, stop supporting your work, stop caring about your struggles, stop showing you that they see your effort. People say successful journey is a lonely journey, that there will be people who will fall back, who will develop jealousy not so much of you and what you do, but from the fact that they don’t have the guts to pursue their own big dreams.

It still strange me how they can call themselves your friends, but not give a single, most basic like on your social media for example, when you’re pushing so hard to build your future. It strikes me how they can watch regularly, but so irregularly be there for you. how they can support already established artists, well-known people far away from them in any meaning, but can’t support their long term friend. And it does hurts. If you’ve been in a situation like hits you have seen it, you know what I’m talking about.

Why do things change like that? Why can we be more open and loving? Why don’t we learn to see the bigger picture and sympathise more with those we know from kids, but who are trying to make a difference in their life? Because the difference they make will make a difference to all of us, to our kids that are growing together, to our community, to ourselves.

We all have egos, we’re all here to learn to be more humble, more honest, more sincere. And it all starts from us, from the inside and from the environment clossest to us. It all starts with our community, so it can grown and speed wider.

Maybe next time you feel jealous of your friend who is pushing hard to build their future surrounded by of insecurity and uncertainty, instead of passing by maybe give them a little tab on the shoulder, a hug, an acknowledgement that for you could look like nothing, but for them might mean the world.

Why seeing yourself in pictures can make you more confident?

Seeing yourself in pictures is an experience much deeper than we usually assume. As we live in our bodies day in and day out, we don’t usually spend a lot of time seeing our own physical appearance than those of other people around us. We spend more time looking at our family, friends, colleagues, than looking at ourselves, which can cause disconnection with our own bodies. Observing ourselves in the mirror for example is a proven technique that does magic in connecting us with ourselves on a profound level.

I truly believe seeing yourself in beautiful pictures can boost self esteem and be a reason to celebrate life as it is. It also helps for accepting and valuing the body you live in in this lifetime.

I’ve noticed that in the early years of our life we usually gain confidence from our physical appearance, being phrased for it, liked by others or gaining attention due to it. As time goes and life forces us to go through hardships and unexpected, unplanned situations, our source of confidence changes. Our confidence becomes based on our personal and professional achievements, goals we have achieved or obstacles we have overcome.

And as time goes, so do our bodies change. We age, we collect scars and traumas - it’s the inevitable circle of life. This is another reason why photography can actually help us stay connected to and appreciate ourselves more.

So, you might ask, why can help with our confidence? Why two dimensional images, that are often additionally manipulated in Photoshop, can successfully boost our internal state of being? Isn’t this cheating and how come our brain believes it?

  • Why with Photography?

Photography is an art form that plays with light. The light by itself can be manipulated in order to gain the most pleasing to the eye result. So even before Photoshop, the light that paints the photograph is a tool that photographers use to capture moments, create art and visually freeze a fraction of time for eternity.

As humans, we consume the world 90% through our visual senses. What we look at can have uplifting or damaging effects. How we think about ourselves is usually not how we actually look. Our self critic is judging hard without even pointing at the preciousness we already possess as humans.

  • It’s not cheating - it’s Self care

In our everyday life we are exposed to vast amount of images of other people's life and journeys. Social media made the comparison and strive for perfection a normality that has vast amount of pros and cons. Photo retouch and filters just add on to that illusion that somebody else’s life is perfect than yours. ‘‘Grass is always green on the other side’’. Or isn’t it in fact greener where it has been watered?

We’re all different, we look different, we have different lives, we value different things. Having beautiful photographs of yourself is a way to accept and appreciate more who you are in this physical form, to accept and value the body you live in for some years. We believe what we see, and so a beautiful presentation of yourself can boost up your confidence and mute the negative voice in your head that keeps comparing you to others. I truly believe everyone can look beautiful in pictures and one must own many of them.

  • It’s a way to know yourself more

We spent most of our time observing the world around us. We look at our partners, family, children, friends more than we look at our own selves. We stare at them filled with love and admiration of their spirit and/or body. But we don’t really observe ourselves as much and often with much less of any appreciation at all.

When you see your body presented in a pleasing to the eye way, you start valuing more the beauty of it. The shapes and forms it has, the symmetry, the colours and textures that compliment it. To know yourself more is to acknowledge and learn to respect both your inner and outer self. Accepting the body you were given to live in will bring you peace and compassion. A body that does its job to keep you alive, healthy and intelligently notifying you when you need to change or re-adjust.

Your body is your best friend and it deserves to be appreciated, admired and looked at with love and compassion. To have beautiful photographs of it is a way to celebrate it here and now. It is also a way to be remembered in history and for future generations.