I will allow photos of myself when I loose the weight

But what are we really missing? We’re missing the true meaning in the record of our life, ourselves and our work. Record that helps us see our progress as well as adds to the history for future generations.

Waiting to be ready, get ready, feel ready, look ready is a futuristic moment in time that might never comes around. Our lizard brain is trying to protect us and puts us in procrastination mode to wait for a time in this imaginary time where everting is perfect and we don’t feel any resistance. Both you and me know this moment in time is a pure illusion. It was never there, it will never be. So then, aren’t we simply wasting precios time instead?

Yesterday I heard it again - “I want to come for a photoshoot, but first I have to loose the weight”…
Do you really?

I’ve spent years of my life hiding, not allowing myself to appear on photographs with friends and family, not attending events because I didn’t feel good in my body. Years passed to realize I’ve lost recording special times in my life what will never come back again. Looking with a wiser eye now, I see the weight wasn’t really that bad and even if it was, life is a constant change, things transform, body size too. What never returns are the experiences that shapes us, that nurture us, that help us become the people we’re meant to. And this is exactly what we have to celebrate.

It is one thing if you want to put an effort and look the best while having your photoshoot and another if you’re actually hiding. Are you not allowing yourself to see yourself in your glory?

How you feel is important, but we wait to find the moment where we feel perfectly ready inside and out to do something for ourselves. There is no such moment. We can always find an excuse, something to insult ourselves for, something to compare with others, but that only stops us of feeling the love and joy of being alive, being here, experiencing life as we do.

Furthermore, artistic photography is not about purposefully pointing your flaws. It’s about celebrating them instead. It’s about capturing your energy, your essence, the soul that lives in this body that you constantly insult and harm. It’s your vehicle, your house, and has nothing to do with your sense of worth or beauty. Yes, it can help if you feel good in your skin, but you might be surprised that after a sensual photo session you will feel more connected and inline with the body you so wanted to change beforehand.

You don’t need to change to feel worth it, to feel beautiful or special. You don’t need to loose the weight, buy the clothes, find the partner. You need to change the way you look at yourself - to learn to accept this magnificent being you are with flaws and all. We’re not here to be perfect but uniquely ourselves.

Nature is the wisest, your body is part of it

We are part of Nature, our bodies are part of Nature and Nature has its own timing, that we don’t fully understand. The divine timing of the universe that moves, shifts and arranges everything and everyone.

So often we fight it all. Our ego wants to call the shots, test its own creator is Nature. Our human desire for control and knowing it all is what drags us back and puts us in uncomfortable situations. Living in this highly materialistic world is not helping us much either. But can we let go a little and learn how to trust? Can we double up on the flow of Nature instead of our singular aim for management?

Our bodies experience it all. By forcing control, we often hurt ourselves physically and mentally. By aiming towards goals, we often pay with our own body health and sanity. By neglecting the needs of our body, we fall into the path of suffering.

How can we help ourselves? - By spending more time in nature, being quiet, listening. By re-connecting with the source we all came from. By acknowledging our own inner voice that guides and supports us in any step of the way, so we know when it’s time to step back and when to jump forward.

If we don’t listen and ignore - we suffer. If we listen, we take the inevitable downsides of life more lightly as they come. Nothing is permanent, all we need to do is find our own balance within this creative realm.

My First Talk During Women History Month

And so it happened…

Something that I didn’t expected so soon - I got invited to an open discussion on the subject matter I care most about - loving and accepting the body. For even bigger surprise to me was the fact that it was in my native Bulgarian language.

The invitation came form Barcelona Networking Brunch - a group of inspiring women, who aim to connect and help other women in their business, wellbeing and personal growth. They are Bulgarians based in Barcelona from different backgrounds and personal stories.

I met them during the last networking vent in February and they invited me to share my experience and personal story during their organised event last Sunday.

Honoured to be invited to share what brought me here, I was also pleased to see that each and every of them connected with the subject matter. It is clear - we, as women, are very harsh and judgemental to our own bodies, and more often than not, spent years in hating and dishonouring it. The body that gives us everything - Life.

Maybe it’s the human condition that doesn’t allow us to see clearly at times. Yes, bodies are different and that’s normal. In fact that’s the main point of it - we’re all unique human beings, that share similarities. We all have our own path to go through, our own lessons to learn. For me learning to accept and love my body more was one  of them. Years spent in hate and disgust, in wishing it is different, in hiring it in various forms, so blind to see how magnificent the body is and how, despite my rage, it is still taking care of me, loving me, helping me in any situations I need.

As women, we have constantly fighting with our bodies, in our bodies, and with people commenting on our bodies. Bodies that are, as they are. With different shapes, sizes, colors. Bodies alive, changing throughout our whole live. Bodies made to bear fruit. Bodies that change under the influence of thoughts and emotions. Bodies, strong and resilient and at the same time dying in seconds. Bodies that grow old and will die. Bodies, the art of nature that serves our soul to live in this life, in this form, in this dimension. Bodies that have the ability to guide us in our choices. Bodies that can heal themselves.

And these same bodies, we dare to offend as appallingly as no one else could.

Some respect please :)

Като жени водим постоянни борби с телата си, в телата си и с хора, коментиращи телата ни. Тела, които са, каквито са. С различни форми, размери, цветове. Тела, живи, променящи се през целия ни живот. Тела, създадени да раждат плодове. Тела, които се променят под въздествието на мисли и емоции. Тела, силни и устойчиви и в същото време умиращи за секунди. Тела, които остаряват и ще умрат. Тела, изкуство на природата, което служи на душата ни да живее в този живот, в тази форма, в това измерение. Тела, които имат възможности да ни насочват в изборите ни. Тела, които могат да се самолекуват.

И тези същите тела, ние смеем да обиждаме толкова ужасяващо, както никой друг не би могъл.

Малко уважение, моля :)

Here is the full video from the event. Only in Bulgarian for now, but I promise soon there will be on win English.

Many thanks to everyone who came and shared their personal experiences. I will never forget this day!