Support your friend artist or leave them struggle alone?

I notice some interesting phenomena in area of supporting emerging artists. Something that I’ve been thinking and personally experiencing for a while now. Something that really bothers and makes me wonder why.

I’ve been actively pursuing my artistic side for the past 16 years. Left my homeland 13 years ago, changed 3 countries, learned 2 additional languages to my mother tongue, lived with 21 nationalities in 16 houses, but I never have yet forgotten where I came from. In fact, I still keep in touch with some of my oldest friends. Moreover, I still care what they say and think, even though my life journey changed me so much.

What amazes me most is how people that know you from the start, at some point, for their own reasons, stop supporting your work, stop caring about your struggles, stop showing you that they see your effort. People say successful journey is a lonely journey, that there will be people who will fall back, who will develop jealousy not so much of you and what you do, but from the fact that they don’t have the guts to pursue their own big dreams.

It still strange me how they can call themselves your friends, but not give a single, most basic like on your social media for example, when you’re pushing so hard to build your future. It strikes me how they can watch regularly, but so irregularly be there for you. how they can support already established artists, well-known people far away from them in any meaning, but can’t support their long term friend. And it does hurts. If you’ve been in a situation like hits you have seen it, you know what I’m talking about.

Why do things change like that? Why can we be more open and loving? Why don’t we learn to see the bigger picture and sympathise more with those we know from kids, but who are trying to make a difference in their life? Because the difference they make will make a difference to all of us, to our kids that are growing together, to our community, to ourselves.

We all have egos, we’re all here to learn to be more humble, more honest, more sincere. And it all starts from us, from the inside and from the environment clossest to us. It all starts with our community, so it can grown and speed wider.

Maybe next time you feel jealous of your friend who is pushing hard to build their future surrounded by of insecurity and uncertainty, instead of passing by maybe give them a little tab on the shoulder, a hug, an acknowledgement that for you could look like nothing, but for them might mean the world.

Anxiety, are you real?

Our bodies, so magnificently created, are constantly communicating with us. Especially when somethings is out of balance. Well, that’s the whole point in a way isn’t it - if it’s good, you don’t need to be warned, to be alerted. In the case of the opposite though, you better listen carefully.

I’ve been living my life with anxiety unclear from how long. Back in the days I thought it’s me, it’s my problem, that there is something not right with me. But never I thought that I might be having a condition that might have collected from somewhere or appeared after certain experience. I used to believe anxiety and depression are jokes, an excusses that people use to explain their fear or lack of ambition. Until after my dad’s passing away I heard that he was struggling with it. His death changed me completely and thought me not to make assumptions but first to learn about the conditions themselves.

So, I started asking questions, digging information related to my feelings so I can understand more. Turned out I have anxiety. Still continued to ignore it in a way as in my upbringing and home country talking about mental health is not a common subject matter.

But with time, information, conversations I became more and more familiar with it. Since recently I can actually feel it - when it comes and when it goes. I pay more attention to my bodily feelings, I listen more. And it turned out it’s not me, it never was, it’s just something i feel sometimes and that probably I might be even able to let go completely.

Our bodies know us better than we think. We’re intangibly connected to everything and everything is connected to us. And out bodies are the bridge between, the vessel that transmits the information, the best friend that always has our back.

Do you listen? Do you allow yourself to stop and really listen to yourself? To observe what your mind, body and soul are telling you, and how sometimes there is an argument? Those two voices in your head, do you listen?

Or are you scared? Is there something that you avoid facing? Is there a pain that you’re scared to let go of because yore so used to it? But what if you let it go and it all works out? What if by listening to your own body you understand that life it’s lighter without that pain even if the pain is so familiarly satisfying?

We’re all in this together. But each of us has it’s own personal work to do.

How to prepare for a Boudoir photo session?

Have you always wanted to experience a boudoir photo session, but maybe felt some insecurity about taking your clothes off in front of a stranger?

Worry no more, I got you, girl! I’m here for you!

My boudoir sessions are tailored for women with or without experience in front of the camera or with minimal clothing. The target is always one - to feel more comfortable in your own skin. I believe boudoir photography can help women feel freer and unapologetically themselves when they appreciate the beauty and intelligence of their own bodies. Bodies that go through so much transformation during their life and fully deserve to be acknowledged for it, appreciated and valued for their magnificence.

That’s why I’m here - to help people enjoy themselves in their own skin. Clothes and accessories are fun, but they also build a barrier, restrictions, putting certain norms and telling a story. But it not our nature, our authentic appearance as species. The clothed body is not what we actually live in and experience life with, but the nude body is.

The boudoir session is not necessarily a nude one, however surely it could transform if you decide so. I understand the sensitivity of the matter, that there could be certain boundaries and fully respect every individual's point of view.

So what do you need to prepare for a boudoir session?

It is actually very easy:
-decide how you’d like to be photographed
-pick up some outfits/looks
-decide how much of makeover suits you best
-and then just bring your gorgeous presence in the studio!

How would you like to be photographed?

We’ll discuss this more in detail in your pre-shoot consultation. Meanwhile, you can see examples in my work that resonate with you most and you would like to have your own photographs in the same style. Or you’re more than welcome to share any ideas that you have and dream about. I’m always open to experiment and create the best visuals of yourself you’ve seen.

What outfits would you like?

Feel free to share with me even before something that you’d like to wear. I would suggest you to get out of the box and norms if you secretly wanted to. This is a safe space for you where we’ll play, laugh and enjoy your beauty and uniqueness. A place where you can experiment and dress up as whoever you want. You can be with lingerie or any intimate wear or much more minimal and bare. The less the fashion, the more it focuses on your and your gorgeous body. But I let you decide.

If you feel like trying more nude look, you don’t necessarily have to be fully nude. For me is health and safety first so you can wear some minimal thongs that I can hide with poising or later on Photoshop if you want to look nude on your photographs.

How much makeover suits you best?

This option I left open for clients as some of them prefer more natural and minimal look. Boudoir sessions don’t have to have the heavy saturated makeover where you can’t recognise yourself. I’m here to capture you the way you want it to be and won’t force on you anything that can make you feel not yourself. I know make-up can sometimes change the look and idea of who we want to appear as. Therefore, the sessions I do include natural makeover, focused on your natural beauty. But if you prefer to go beyond the way you usually present yourself, we’ll help you with that. We can discuss all the small details before the session to make sure everything is the way you want it to be.

And last one is to just bring your awesomeness in the studio!

Again, keep i n mind this is a safe place for you. Somewhere where you can be yourself with no norms or ideals. I’m here to portray your uniqueness and celebrate you, because you deserve it! Feel free to share anything else you have in mind or any concerns that come up.

I listen carefully what clients tell me about their bodies, what they like and dislike about them. So I try to capture all of it, the more and less loved parts of they bodies in a way that they’ll love all of it. Our bodies are beautiful, despite the differences. In fact the differences are those that make them so unique, so let’s celebrate it!

Do you listen to your body?

Do you listen in the silence of your own? Are you ever in enough silence to hear? And if you do hear, do you follow up or ignore?

The body.. One of my main subjects in my work and in my own personal life. All the beauty I see and intent to capture, mixed with all the challenges I’ve faced with and within my own. A diary I will probably write until the end.

Our magnificent, intelligent bodies are guiding us, telling us what we need to know in every moment. Unfortunately, we don’t always listen. Rather the contrary - we try to numb the feelings, so we can escape either responsibility or the acknowledgement that we need to make a change of some sort. Here is one example - the anxiety.

I didn’t know when it appeared in my life, but I do know now I’ve tried many times to numb the fearful feeling through physical or emotional substances. To only end up hurting myself more. Why do I this? - I asked myself so many times. I’m yet not sure, all I know is that photography has helped me many times up to this day.

In creation we loose idea about time, space and fear. Preset moment eliminates anxiety, it focuses your mind, giving you the space and security of the present. We’re often so lost in the past of in the future, that we forget to pay attention to the only moment we actually have - the now. I know you’ve heard this before, but do you practice it?

Here is me now, writing this with an anxious heart. My body is not calm, my mind is afraid. All I know is I’m not alone, maybe you’re accompanying me now or can relate to it. Why don’t we listen more? Why don’t we believe in our own body intelligence and guidance to show us what to do, who to love, what to trust and where to go? We tent to trust in others that have no idea how we feel or what we dream about.

Don’t let the fear stops you, don’t let it freeze you. Listen to your body, it knows you better than you think. Trust it, as it’s the only body that will never betray you, the only one that will be there for you always. The one that holds the guidance and support you need to go through life.

Why Photographing Yourself Is Beneficial For You?

Throughout art history, self portraiture has been a way for the artist to reflect and capture themselves in a unique way. Nowadays, with the phone camera we have a constant access to we also have the ability to capture, portray, and record ourselves. Being an artist or not, photographing yourself can be beneficial for you in a few ways.

• Helps you release emotions

As living life and going through experiences, we’re faced with variety of emotions, that often can be overwhelming. All of us humans have moments where we’re faced with challenging emotions, very often unable to express them due to lack of understanding or deep rooted traumas that might not allow us. Here is why standing in front of the camera (and ideally a mirror) by yourself, honest and with all of those bare emotions, you experience an allowance to realise and share. Movement, facial expressions and gaze are all channels to release what you’ve had trapped inside. Unreleased emotions get stored in the body and convert into diseases at some point. Therefore releasing what is bothering you, what has been hurting you, is healthy for your mind, body and soul.

• Helps you get to know yourself better

Self portraiture is true mirror that you put in front to observe, examine and learn more about your own self. Trapped in the human body, your soul is directly expressed through your eyes. How often do you look in your eyes? How often do you stop and stare, examine your facial and body features, but also pay attention to the energy that your souls is transmitting to you? By portraying yourself you get closer to your own soul by paying attention to what’s inside that wants to get out.

You can also learn to accept your physical form, your body. We’re here for a certain amount of years, occupying a body that we often want to change and modify instead of accepting and loving it so it can serve us longer, which is directly related to our life time. Getting to know yourself and accepting yourself as you are here and now would benefit you enormously - you’ll live a more fulfilled and peaceful life, with less anxiety and worries. Because fighting and denying it will only lead to more suffering.

• Helps you learn more about photography

You have a constant access to yourself and your body. Photographing yourself is the quickest and easiest way to practice posses, to play with light or explore further. By practising it you’ll become more confident in your craft and with your clients/sitters. You’ll see and correct mistakes that you might be making often. You can learn more about how light and position can change the feeling of a final image. Never the less, you will end up with interesting body of work that you’re proud of, can use in other ways for variety of purposes, but it will also give you a memory of the captured moment in time that will never return. Self portraiture can become a present that you leave behind to your family and children, to the future generation to remember you and your special light.

In conclusion, photographing yourself is beneficial for you in the form of therapy, art or memory. It can enhance your professional work, but will also develop stronger connection with your soul. Practiced regularly, self portraiture can give you a personal, mirrored look of yourself and where you stand at this point in life, that you can’t find anywhere else. A unique reality check to learn from in a deeper level. Looking and accepting yourself is powerful practice. Being your own art piece will give you joy that you can tap into anytime you want.

I’d love to know how you get along. Let me know in comments! :)